Daily Devotional: 4/9/2018 - Spirthday

"Jesus did not let him, but said, 'Go home to your own people and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you."" Mark 5:19

Today, marks the one year of being a Christian. I feel like it is super important to show that we go through so much to be the men and women God wants us to be. My name is Christopher Colotti, I am 20 years old. I am from Newburgh, NY and attend Nyack College. As a christian I have learned a lot. One of the biggest things that I have learned is that we all have a story, this is mine:

Before I accepted Christ in my life, I was full of doubt. There was really not a day that depression and anxiety didn't get the best of me. I was the kid that walked in the hallways with his head down listening to music. I was not a popular kid, but I was not someone that didn't have any friends. I was known by people because of my last name (since we all played sports and were known for our respected sports) and because I played sports myself. I was never a person that was good with the women; this is what helped fuel my depression and anxiety. I was constantly being rejected and bullied for it. I would watch porn all the time as an escape and as way of releasing stress and anger, I was addicted to it. This would lead to me looking at women differently than I should (I always treated women with respect, do not get me wrong. Nevertheless, I would look at them sometimes as an object and not a person). I was filled with lust. Before Christ, I was in a constant battle with my emotions; I would constantly have suicidal thoughts. I would go throughout my day in a dark fog. I would go throughout the day, just wanting to end it. There was days I was thankful that I did not have a gun or have the guts to swerve off the road. I was angry. I was angry with others, I was angry with myself, and I was mad at the world. The only thing at that time that helped me was music. I would listen to music constantly. If there was an opportunity to, my earphones were in and playing music. I would listen to strictly rap and old school pop rock. I grew up in the church, but didn't grow up in the church at the same time. I grew up Roman Catholic. I went to CCD every Monday and church on Sundays until I got my conformation. However, I never paid attention. I always got in trouble in class, was a troublemaker. I didn't want to be there. I knew of God, but I didn't know God. I knew he was there, but I didn't know him personally. I wore the cross, I would give the sign of the cross after hitting a home run, but it was all fake. I didn't live for Jesus.

            This was all until I went to my first college (Dominican College) to play baseball. When I went for my visit, the one assistant coach sold both my dad and I that I would be on the team, but when I got there it was not like that at all. We had tryouts and after the tryouts, I was cut. Ironically, before I went to the look at the list I was in the shower, I prayed to God asking for help and asking him to put me on the team. I pray the typical "if you do this, I will go to church, and I will follow you." (God showed me what was up after that). After looking at the list (standing in the pouring rain), I was devastated and didn't know what to do. I called up my dad crying and apologizing because I felt like I failed him and the family (meanwhile I didn't).  I mass emailed a whole bunch of schools; I got a good amount of responses. My final two schools were between Nyack College (a Christian school) and a school out in Iowa. After a lot of thinking, "praying", visiting my grandpa's grave, I chose Nyack College. I chose them because they were a Christian college and I wanted to get to know God more, and I did it for my grandma and for my grandpa, who were big into going to church back home. Therefore, I was looking forward to taking the religious classes that they offered there. During my first semester there, we had team Bible Studies. I went to every single one that I could make it, just so I can learn and grow; I wanted to get the big guy's side. At times, it was only me and another teammate of mine. One of the first classes I took was Old Testament (1st semester Sophomore Year - 2017), this is where I asked my dad to buy me my first Bible (before entering college, if you told me I would own a Bible I would laugh in your face). I would need it for the class. Once I got it, I read all the time. I would read on my spare time, evening dodging homework to read it (I do my best stuff when I should be studying and do homework - i.e. learned how to solve the Rubik's cube my first ever finals week, but hey still got straight A's).  At first, I would only read the Old Testament, since that is what I had to read for class. I was so intrigued by the devotionals I had to read and write each week, and all the essays I had to write for the class. That winter break I read the entire Old Testament, I sketched out time to read every day. I had a friend from back home wanted to hang out all the time that I had told that I didn't have a lot of time to hang and talk since I was always reading the Bible; they were so confused and asked if I was serious (they seriously thought I was joking). Once I got back to school, I started to read the New Testament. When I was down in Florida for the Spring Break trip, I was constantly in the lobby reading. One of the days, a current brother in Christ of mine and now one of my best friends in the entire world, Gabe asked me if I wanted to study the Bible with him. At the moment, I didn't know that this was the moment that would change my life. We studied every day of the break. At the time, four of my teammates had been baptized. I thought I was good, since I was already baptized when I was a baby (shoutout to them Catholic traditions). However, when I read the Bible I learned that I had to repent and chose to be baptized, man was I convicted. It was as if a rug was just ripped out from underneath me. I knew something had to change. I knew something had to change specially after I studied and talked about sin with Gabe. Jesus gave up his life for us. He went through so much pain, agony, and turmoil for us. My life was filled with sin, but Jesus died for me in order to have my sins forgiven and in order for me to have an eternal life in heaven. After several more studies and talking with an elder in the church and the pastor of the church, on April 9, 2017, I was DUNKED.

            Since I was dunked, so much in my life has changed. Jesus has changed the way I look at things and look at people in a whole. Jesus has taken on all my depression and anxiety. It has basically been nonexistent in my life. Not saying I do not fall, because I do (all the time); but when you have Jesus on your side it is a whole lot easier to stand back up. With Jesus, I am happier; I go around talking to random people. That was something I would have never seen myself doing. I meet people on a daily basis; I step out of my comfort zone. I look at women a whole lot different now; I have a newfound respect for them. I now see them as more than just women, but women of God. I just in a whole look at people differently. I have a newfound respect for everyone, because we are all made in the image of God. Since being dunked I continually read, I not only do personally Bible Studies I study the Bible with other teammates and other people. I try to spread the Word and love of Jesus on a daily basis. I will post the verse of the day on my Snapchat and Instagram. Now, the big thing that I am trying to accomplish is spreading the Word worldwide and finishing the mission of Jesus, by posting daily devotionals on a blog and posting random notes and ideas. Since being dunked, I try my best to live like Jesus; because he not only came to be the perfect example of how to live, but also to be the ultimate sacrifice. He died for our sins and died in order for us to have an eternal life in heaven with him and our Father.

This is only one of the many testimonies that will be posted. I am not the only one behind the keyboard. This is a group of college students trying to spread the word of Jesus. We are humans, young humans, just like you. I can't wait for you to meet the rest of the amazing people that I am surrounded by, I am truly blessed. I am not done with my journey, it has only just begun.

Lord, Thank you. Amen.

#LetsBeAMovement